Part 1, The Next Three Years Of My Life: [link]
Part 2, Sell That Damn Book, Danny: [link]
Part 3, I Was Not Ready For This: [link]
Part 4, Objective: Character and Story Building: [link]
PART 5, The Family: [link]
PART 6:WAVES OF DOUBT
I remember this one night I couldn't get anything to work with LMS. I couldn't draw, I couldn't write, I couldn't be creative. I felt trapped, sick to my stomach and had an ongoing feeling of anxiety.
I would get up, walk around, and force ideas. Stupid, uncreative and rushed thoughts. I went upstairs and laid down next to my gf at the time, who was passed out. It had to have been 4 or 5 am, because it was getting light out.
I remember lying there, looking up at the ceiling. What the hell was I doing?
The same thoughts kept on repeating. What if this flops? What if Heavy Metal hates it? What if the audience hate it?
I had a strong following of loyal readers, watchers, and likers. I wouldn't be anywhere where I am today without their support and loyalty. It ranges from DeviantART, to Twitter, Facebook and more.
So I had to make this right. I couldn't phone it in. I wanted to make a book those people above deserved. I wanted to fulfill the quota I promised and not take any shortcuts.
But why couldn't I think of anything? I had to get out.
I had been living in Santa Monica for a year or so now, and felt it was time I exercised the toothpicks I call legs. The next morning I had taken a long walk, about three hours or so. This was a new thing for me; taking walks and listening to music.
I'd listen to a lot of trailer music and electronic. Immediate Music, Two Steps From Hell, NERO, Daft Punk, Justice and Kavinsky.
That was the soundtrack to LMS.
I'd take these walks and just let go of all the bullshit. The drama. The relationship slowly cracking. The bills. The piling debt. This process allowed me to focus on the inspiration and not so much the objective. When I came to that point I could just listen to the music and imagine visuals.
Imagine it like a trailer for a movie. What would you want to see if you could make your own IP? What does your trailer reveal? What story does it tell?
Let your imagination take and create your story for you.Justice - Stress[link]
I remember listening to this song, which then inspired this LMS fight scene about Gabriel and Abel:Gabriel in a club fighting against Abel's security. Allister watches.
Then I'd take that idea and go, well, why does Gabriel need to do that?
Listen some more. Maybe Abel is testing him.
To train him.
Now I know the factor of Abel's life. Why he's important.
This process helped clear a lot of road blocks during the creative side of things. It's a work-flow I suggest a lot to people.
But there's a dark side to this factor. Soon those walks became every day, twice a day, sometimes three times a day.
Started working so much that I began losing sight of things, such as bills, my health and the relationship between my gf and I.
I didn't have time for anything. Barely spoke to my family, because I was so busy either working on either LMS or DC Comics or Universal's Your Highness.
I became addicted to the craft and it stopped turning into a hobby and more of a job. I became obsessed with the characters, with who they were, what they would wear, eat, watch or what weapon they'd use.
So many weapons, costumes, cities, side stories, advertisements,looks, styles, trailer-ideas. Every single fucking day I would think about WHAT makes this book WHAT it is.
I had to stop and relax. Take a breath or something that didn't involve the letters L M S. I was now giving myself anxiety and losing the focus of what brought me here in the first place.
And then I remembered what my dad once told me. He was always hard on me, it was the way he was raised. His father had passed when he was young, thus forcing him to help take the mantle and provide for his family. He's always been a strong worker, never gives up, never backs down, and doesn't take shit from anyone.
He keeps to himself, stays humble and modest, and does what he has to for his family. We butted heads from time to time when I told him what I wanted to do. He was looking out for me, but we didn't see eye-to-eye sometimes. But I'll never forget what he said to me this one time:
"Every day you're resting on your craft, someone else is catching up to you."
Goddamn he was stubborn, and I guess I got it from him.
Back to the drawing board.