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THE STREETS - Chapter 1 - by DanLuVisiArt THE STREETS - Chapter 1 - by DanLuVisiArt
A tease from my upcoming book Popped Culture, Kickstarter coming this June/July. 

Enjoy the story and art of Bert and Ernest's wild ride through The Streets.

-- 

Chapter I: A Long Way From Home 

The blast was louder than Ernest had expected, however the blow-back affected him even more. The heavy gun weighted down his tiny orange hands, but he firmly gripped the cannon, amidst the nervous twitch.

Ernest stood before his first victim, a day he'd never imagined to had happen. He was always unsure what he wanted to be in life, but a killer was never an option. 

“What the hell, Ernest?!” yelled Bert, as he grabbed the pistol from his still shell-shocked brother.

“He was going to kill you, Bert...” Ernest said, his wet eyes still glued onto the victim. “I was trying to protect you, Bert.”

Bert shook his head, placing his pistol back into the holster. Bert made his way to the couch, removing the trash from it and proceeding to tear off the crumb-ridden sheets. “You made this mess, so now you're going to clean it up.”

I don't think any bath can clean this mess, Bert.” Ernest muttered under his breath, an old brotherly joke, now sadly forgotten and replaced with despair.

Well figure it the hell out.” Bert said, throwing the sheets at his brother. Ernest grabbed the sheets and made his way over to the fallen body. He looked down at his victim, staring into the eyes of yet another killer, one far more veteran than himself. His mind began to skip, until Bert slapped him in the head, knocking sense back into his tiny body.

Ernest! Get it together. Clean this up while I figure out what to do now.”

Ernest leaned down, trying to lift the heavy body and place him in the sheets. The blood leaked from the wound, which was located between the victim's right eye and cheek. Ernest watched as it continued to pump a thick, dark red stream over the neon-lit carpet. “What are we going to do, Bert?” Ernest asked, nervously pushing his greased-black hair aside.

We gotta figure out an alibi for The Bird. He's gonna wonder why this guy disappeared and when he finds out that we did it? You and I are goneFor good.” Bert exhaled.

I was only trying to help, the frantic Ernest yelled in his mind. All those years he had grown next to Bert, wanting to follow in his footsteps—wanting to impress his older brother—only for this to happen? But that was the very problem, Ernest had difficulties even finding the footsteps to begin with. He was never a leader, only a follower, needing a hand to guide him through challenges most would figure out on their own through simply...

...Growing up. Ernest thought, something he had heard once too many times before. 

Bert tried to conjure a plan in the meantime, but his past kept coming back to haunt him. Over the years, friends and family told Bert behind his brother's back to move on. Leave the kid, and focus on your life. You have goals, he doesn't, they would say. Become something and lead by example they would remind him. Bert never left Ernest's side though, continuously putting his life on hold to help Ernest further his own.

Because that was the promise Bert made to Ernest before he left. He gave his word that he would never leave his side, and that he would always be his protector. But now, once again, Bert was forced to figure out a way to solve yet another one of his brother's foils.

Bert grabbed Ernest's shoulder, knowing and understanding what he must be going through. “It's a lot to take in. I've been there, many times, in your exact spot. The gun feels heavy, but you almost enjoy it.” Bert sayid, as Ernest looks up at him. “You then one day require it.” he finishes.

Are...are we in trouble Bert?” he asked in his tiny, innocent voice—his hands still shaking.

The body below them began to twitch, a second breath of life entering his lungs. Bert and Ernest watched as he struggled to rise, the gurgles slowly weeping from his mouth as his large eyes darted around the room. Bert retrieved his .45 Caliber back from his holster, and aimed it at the victim's forehead.

Bert sighed. “Yes, we're in trouble, Ernest," pulling the trigger and landing a .45 caliber round into the head of The Cook, one of The Street's most notorious Cookie Dealers. A decision that would soon assure them both a home six feet under.

Big trouble.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconarakoyuk:
arakoyuk Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2015
I don't think any bath can clean this mess, Bert.” - what does it refer to? 
Reply
:iconeirebrony:
EireBrony Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
who did you sell your soul to, to learn how to shade like that? Wow! 
Reply
:iconicyfrostcats:
icyfrostcats Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You can make the most stupidest child characters the creepiest. I do love how realistic this is! It gives me the creeps.
Reply
:icondecembersounds:
DecemberSounds Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015  New Deviant
Me gusta
Reply
:iconcurtis-macdonald:
curtis-macdonald Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Holy shit, this is genius.
Reply
:icontannere:
TannerE Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Squid kid 
Reply
:iconfnafpurpleguy:
FnafPurpleGuy Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Oh gosh 
Reply
:icondark-mountain-queen:
Dark-Mountain-Queen Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Bert WTF 
Reply
:icontmntmoonkitteh:
TMNTMoonkitteh Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Cookie Dealers
Sweetlord not the cookies-
Reply
:iconfallenchibiangel:
FallenChibiAngel Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
I don't need to sleep anyway :D
Reply
:iconmelonken:
melonken Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
lol wut
Reply
:iconjustakid93:
justakid93 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Student
I love this. A reimagination of my childhood
Reply
:iconzozanthedragon:
ZozanTheDragon Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love how realistic and detailed this looks!
Reply
:iconmondomanusa:
Mondomanusa Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
lmao...wtf is this!!!!...this is hilarious
Reply
:iconres818:
Res818 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Too dope. The artwork and the writing. 
Reply
:iconerrorkids:
ErrorKids Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AMAZING!
Reply
:icondanielsden:
DANIELSDEN Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
Taking cwhat was traditionally childlike and flipping it .... simply genius!!!
Reply
:iconlanternjoe:
lanternjoe Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but I'm reminded of that bit in one of the first Family Guy episodes where Peter was watching TV for so long that eventually Sesame Street and Homicide: Life on the Street started running together.
Reply
:iconrockyrailroad578:
Rockyrailroad578 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
WHAT.... IN TH HECK... IS THIS...
Reply
:iconwhodatninja9386020:
whodatninja9386020 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014
Lolllllololololl
Reply
:iconthemathmaster:
themathmaster Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
This is epic. Off to read the rest of the story.
Reply
:iconjflaxman:
jflaxman Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014
Brilliant.
Reply
:icondbren7872:
dbren7872 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
This picture had me laughing even a few days after I looked at it.  I don't like how Bert finished off the guy he shot.  But it's still a good and appropriate story to these two characters. 

Very Good Work! Keep it Coming! 

I imagine that you like to make people realize the ridiculousness of their lack of good judgment sometimes. 
Reply
:iconcreepydumpling:
CreepyDumpling Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lmao
Reply
:iconheyfunnyboy:
heyfunnyboy Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
Wow. Just, wow.
Reply
:iconcoolioking:
Coolioking Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014
Messed up, but EXCELLENT STORY!!!
Reply
:iconantcow:
antcow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
Ok, LOL, WTF?
Reply
:icongensanity:
gensanity Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
love it 
Reply
:iconlliaolsen:
LliaOlsen Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Despite seeing the graphic nature of the image I still hear their voices as they are from childhood when reading the story, it makes it so much more pleasurable.
Reply
:iconxschrome1:
xschrome1 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014
I like the angle you are taking on these characters
Reply
:iconmisssuperlori:
MissSuperLori Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Today's lesson kids is never mess with Ernie,cuz he gonna cap yo ass
Reply
:iconmeiyeezhu:
meiyeezhu Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
Today's comic is brought you by the hard letter "C", as in "cocaine", "crack" and "cap"
Reply
:iconmaxphotodesign:
maxphotodesign Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
nice!
Reply
:iconmrm64:
mrm64 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :love:
Reply
:iconatalonbyanyothername:
ATalonByAnyOtherName Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Student Digital Artist
"pull the trigger ernie"
Reply
:iconseedz:
seedz Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
love this
Reply
:iconharuau:
haruau Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014
There's always that moment when you pull the trigger for the first time, even if it's on a drug dealer.
Reply
:iconclegg01:
CLEGG01 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
OMG. Never laughed so hard in long time. I got to share this. 
Reply
:iconafrican-amber:
African-Amber Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Why do you have to take someone else's characters and twist them into something ugly like this? What's wrong with leaving beloved childhood characters alone? If you want to do something like this, why can't you just make up your own characters and put them through hell?
Reply
:iconunusedusername111:
unusedusername111 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014
It's part of the joke.
Reply
:iconafrican-amber:
African-Amber Featured By Owner Edited Jun 21, 2014  Student General Artist
I've seen funnier funerals.
Reply
:iconunusedusername111:
unusedusername111 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
Well you should go hang around a few of those then.
Reply
:iconafrican-amber:
African-Amber Featured By Owner Edited Jun 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Okay, I'll give you this: the funeral comment was uncalled for. I actually reread it now as a joke and I have to say thanks. I was totally reading it the wrong way. It's really depressing if you read it out of context, but it's pretty funny in context.
Reply
:iconunusedusername111:
unusedusername111 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
Happy to help.
Reply
:icondevonfox:
DevonFox Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely brilliant! Will be keeping an eye out for popped culture. :)
Reply
:iconsallylovemuffin:
SallyLoveMuffin Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Awesome!


o.o Ernest x Bert became real in mah mind now!
Reply
:iconrojersm:
rojersm Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
Well, this isn't something I expected to find tonight... Probably my greatest find on DeviantArt nonetheless.
Reply
:iconinked-kitsune:
Inked-Kitsune Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is the sickest thing I have ever seen in my life!!!
Reply
:iconsallylovemuffin:
SallyLoveMuffin Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Yeaa-to bad.
Reply
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